20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:|
1: At lunch time, sit in you car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars; see if they slow down
2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.
3: Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that
4: Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso
6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"
7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy"
8: Dont use any punctuation
9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking
10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face
11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO"
12: Sing along at the opera
13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day
15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'
16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom"
17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON"
18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives they're loose"
19: Tell your children (or younger sibling) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"
20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... become my friend!